Old People May be Lying

I left the DCCC about an hour ago to head over to our office and got into the street elevator at Capitol South along with a friendly-looking senior citzen woman. I’m taking advantage of the final seconds of cell coverage while descending, and as I’m saying my good-byes, I notice that the friendly old lady riding with me is hunched over, grimacing at me, and both pointing at and covering her ears.At first, I figured that she, too, was feeling the pressure of the elevation drop into the metro-rail vortex and wanted to share her discomfort with me. I was clearly mistaken. As soon as i hung up, she starts whispering to me at the top of her lungs about how loud i was talking and how painful my voice was to her ears in this enclosed space of ours: “I have VERY sensitive hearing!”Wow! There’s a first. A senior citzen with super-sonic hearing? I don’t want to accuse this nice old lady of lying, but is that really possible? I apologized (of course) most sincerely for the inconvenience.But I couldn’t just leave it at that. On the way out I observed, “Gee–you’re really lucky. Most people have the opposite problem.” (ie. they lose hearing instead of gain more of it.) She thought that was just charming of me and whispers back, “Yes! When I retired, i was off the charts in both directions.”In both directions? What the hell does that mean? She didn’t seem crazy, but is it possible that old people lie because they can easily get away with it? You decide. And if there’s a doctor in the house, please let us know if it’s possible for senior citizens to have super-sonic hearing.

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