Republican Sentences

You’ve got to hand it to them. At first, I asked myself, “are the Republican delegates really so dumb that all the speakers need to speak in short sentences and mini-syllables to be understood? Is it really necessary to speak to all these people like children?”Then I realized that 5-word sentences, broken up syll-a-ble by syll-a-ble are so much eas-i-er to swallow. It makes for a better sermon–er, speech–because you focus on all the nice-sounding words like “liberty,” “freedom,” “hero,” and “strength” (and God), and totally disregard the fact that you’re been spoon-fed a load of crap.Another lesson brought to you by the Grand Old Party.

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