Lessons from tonight’s E-Ring

If the RNC didn’t hand-write every other episode of this show, then they should get busy planning the E-Ring Marathon for this year’s Young Republican Spring Break Tour. Not that its hypnotic conservative messaging is keeping me from watching. Bad lines + plus bad acting + plus good-guys-catch-bad-guys plot = Good TV. Here’s what we learn from tonight’s episode:

  1. Media pressure and the public discontent around Abu Gharib prison scandal harmed the War on Terror by forcing the government to make concessions. For example, the government had to release a prisoner who later turned out to be a bioterrorist. We only make ourselves less safe by questioning our military policies.
  2. If the government releases people from GITMO, those prisoners may turn out to be bioterrorists, so it’s better to just keep them there indefinitely.
  3. The government’s role is to protect it’s citizens — and to do that job effectively, the public must often be kept in the dark about threats to its safety
  4. Many public officials who step down from their post do so to protect their superiors, because that’s what patriots do — not because they’re guilty of wrongdoing.
  5. If you and your boss are clearly attracted to each other, you’ll be happier and better off if you agree to abstain from getting romantically or physically involved. Abstinence is the best protection.
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