95 degrees and Crazy’s out in force

So the thermometer rises a dozen degrees and everyone decides to go and lose their grip? Gore didn’t warn us about this in the movie. Evidence from this weekend:(1) [at wedding reception:] “Well I didn’t think I’d have to say anything here…” Opening words into the mic from divorced father of the bride, immediately prior to stumbling over the married (mr. and mrs.) name of his daughter and her new husband. Oops.(2) “I’m a recovering drug and alcohol addict!” That’s how this guy at the wedding introduced himself to me upon discovering that I went to high school with his girlfriend. “Yeah, we met during drug rehab at the same retreat in Arizona!” Now, I’m fully supportive of anyone recovering from an addiction, and I admire the work that goes into staying sober, but do you really think that’s the best way to strike up a conversation with someone you’ve barely met? I’m still stuck on what my response should have been: “Rehab? I love rehab! So, what’s your favorite drug?”(3) [in bar car on train, pulling me to the counter by my arm:] “Whateber hee wanns ees awnn me.” Completely insane 50-year old woman traveling alone with a child’s suitcase who latched herself to me in the station immediately upon discovering that I had gleaned priceless information about how long our train would be delayed. Yes, looks like we’re on the same train. “I stick near you then!!” she exclaimed in broken English. Hrmm… Fortunately, today was my day to cash in on a free biz-class upgrade coupon, or I else I’m confident I’d still be sharing a seat with crazy talking lady (on her way to Easton, MD, to visit her grandkids, will be getting picked up at BWI, lives in Norwalk CT, worried she’ll miss her stop, told her daughter she won’t come down to visit if she’s in jail). Instead I had the guilty pleasure of listening to her plead with the conductor guarding the business class door behind me, like the sad teenager in sneakers trying to talk her way into the nightclub. We’ve all been there.(4) Dreaming about world leaders and DC airports. Yes, even I succumbed to the powers of 95-degree heat. Last night I apparently was at dinner with GWB, Vladmir Putin, and several other world leaders, all of whom I greeted by first name because I was too nervous to piece together their formal titles (except for President Putin, who replied, ‘oh, just call me Vladmir’). Crazy Jon Wadsworth was in the dream somewhere as well, but I can’t say how or why. I spent the final dreaming hours trying to track down some checked luggage which didn’t make it to my final destination of Washington National from… wait for it… my connecting flight from Washington Dulles. (To be clear, the part of this dream which qualifies for crazy is how I let myself check luggage. I excoriated myself for a good hour last night on that one.)

Advertisements

One thought on “95 degrees and Crazy’s out in force

  1. <em> Instead I had the guilty pleasure of listening to her plead with the conductor guarding the business class door behind me, like the sad teenager in sneakers trying to talk her way into the nightclub. We’ve all been there.</em>I tried this once when I was about 19, wearing sandals, and I got a "No Jesus shoes allowed!" in reply.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s