hey, you old-time fax machine-loving loser… time to Get REAL!

Well, if it promises to make me cool, I guess I won’t even notice that I’m paying an obscene amount of money for internet in my hotel room. If this 3″ tall laptop doesn’t scream ‘real world’ then i don’t know what does.

i got distracted

and started posting on other blogs except my own… that’s why there’s nothing new here, sorry.

OH — Big News from last week:

  1. Nicco and I held the door for Helen Thomas as she poked her way out of the cab that we were getting ready to take from our office building. Seeing someone from history was easily more surprising than seeing someone of present-day fame — it defies your understanding of what’s possible in the world. It may as well have been Eleanor Roosevelt hobbling out of that cab.
  2. I purchased a Melitta One:One pod coffee machine online, and it arrived from the future to make decent coffee and rank among the best impulse purchases I’ve made in a long time, or ever.

Most obnoxious (and effective) away message. ever.

Just returning from an incredible vacation (photos and stories to follow very soon) and was peering uneasily at the damage my inbox incurred when i came across this away message — and laughed out loud.As ridiculous as this guy’s away message is, part of me wishes that I had adopted his policy. Except then I’d end up being the ass that he probably is (emphasis mine below):

Thank you for your email.I am away until August 23.Due to the high volume of email I receive, I’m afraid I will automatically delete all emails, without first reading them, sent to me during my vacation.If your email is still relevant, please resend after August 23.Urgent emails should be sent to the editorial secretary, Sue [xxxxx]. Her email is [xxxxxxx]. Her phone number is [xxxxxx]

Media people. Go figure — living in fear of pressing delete for all messages received during vacation. I bet it’s actually quite liberating.

wouldn’t it be cool

if you could press a button on your mobile phone to send someone your geographic location as a little map with address information using the phone’s already built-in GPS capability?so many SMS conversations during evenings or nights follow the “where r u?” / “adams morgan – come find us” pattern. this would make finding people you know so much easier, especially when visiting unfamiliar cities where you don’t know location names.has this already been built? (oh, wait, i had to turn-off comments so you can’t reply — i’ll post the same question on some other blog that can actually fight the war on spam and win.)

surrender

… in trackback spam. must. turn. it. off. jim helped me shut off comments a few weeks go, which has saved me from spending at least 2 mindless hours of my life per week deleting spam comments…. it was a funny techno-novelty for all of five minutes. there’s hardly even a point to having a blog without comments, so i’m not sure how often i can bare to post here anymore. echoditto and middblog seem to be holding up okay for now.now the spam daemons have returned to haunt me with their dark trackback spiders, weaving their painful web around my website until it’s so tight that i don’t want to look at this blog anymore. they overcome me. they want to take my firstborn blog, and i think i just may give in to them, like so many others have before me.go ahead. taaaaaake the blogatron 2000 if you really care so much. no one here is buying your stupid cheap diplomas and online poker and animal porn and cheap meds or whatever you’re pushing anyway. but if i give in, then you must leave me alone. that is our deal.

Best of Blog Spam

I haven’t been posting much here… In part, i think, because my most of my interactions with this blog lately have been spent de-spamming the stupid blog comments, which is really turning me off. But I refuse to turn-off comments out of principle. (yes, i have mt-blacklist, but it is clearly being out-smarted)In the meantime, I might as well share some of the more amusing blog-spam with you. Maybe shining a mirror in its eyes, like this, will help kill the spam… i saw it in a movie.(1) Naughty blog spam

Comments:Thought you may be interested in my blog, very naughty. It includes rants about very naughty things, for all you naughty people out there.IP Address: 81.1.67.254Name: Andy Bright – Very Naughty!Email Address: naughty@hotmail.comURL: http://www.very-naughty.co.uk

(2) Rural blog spam

Comments: im a lumberjack and im okay i sleep all night and i work all dayIP Address: 148.240.241.66Name: contemporary dining furniture roomEmail Address: dining@room.comURL: http://dining-furniture-room.iknowhowtouse.com

If you have the crappy job of designing nasty blog-spam-bots to destroy people’s free time, I suppose you may as well add some humor to keep yourself sane.